This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
