Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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