Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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