He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
