Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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