She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
