KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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