so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just google imaged poop.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
