You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
