Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
