I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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