we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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