Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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