They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
