I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
