So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This couple is walking their pig around campus
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
