Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
