Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
