You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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