Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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