Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
