idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
