There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
