She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I need moral support for this bender
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
