I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
