You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
