He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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