I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
