Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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