Sponge bath it is.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
