Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
