Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
