I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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