matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
