Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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