I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
