I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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