what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
