She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
