My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
