If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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