from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Acid is not a monday night drug
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
