Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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