I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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