I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
