Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
