it hurts more in the daytime
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
That accounts for only three of the penises
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
