Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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