Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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