Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
